Because
I deserve it.

I deserve
to be loved
I deserve to be wrapped
in the arms of a loved one
I deserve
to be warm

I deserve
trembling lips
touching my flesh
from my temples
to my toes
I deserve
genuine

I deserve
a special someone
who wakes me up
with kisses on my cheek
telling me they have to leave
and the fact they won't
get to see me this week
makes them a little weak and
I deserve
for them to mean
every
word
I DESERVE

I deserve
a best friend
and a lover
wrapped into one
Secret handshakes
Father-like puns
Not from the same blood
but we speak the same tongue
Emptying my lungs
as I scream
into the darkness
where no one can hear me
belt out:
I DESERVE

I deserve
sweet nothings
whispered
into my ear
More than that
I deserve
dangerous everythings
conveyed
by actions
of courage and love
I DESERVE

I deserve
a healthy interdependence
after all these years
of appreciated independence
and I deserve it
with someone
who deserves the same

Keep your heart
to yourself, Love
and I'll keep mine
but we both deserve
to spend time
with someone
who makes us shine
brighter than
our fallen Columbia
Right as she burst
into flames
and disintegrated

Just like
my heart

The last time
someone put in their pocket
and decided
that
I didn't deserve.

xo,
C